Indigo Village

FEELINGS: The good, the bad and the ugly.

2011-02-14T21:08:00.001-08:00

In my 20 years of teaching, there are a few distinctively “Susie” things that you will always hear me say. Whether I am teaching, coaching or speaking to groups of educators, there are usually a handful of quotes that relate well to my philosophies around parenting.

“It Takes a Village to raise a child” by Mother Teresa is one of them. Another fact that I love to tell parents is, “Over 95% of what our kids learn is by what they are modeled.” Now this last fact can be rather intimidating for a lot of parents. My generation, along with others, have been brought up to believe in the old adage “Do as I say, not as I do.” but this simply does not work when it comes to parenting. Even more intimidating is when this rule applies to teaching your children about feelings and how to handle emotions.

Let’s face it, most of us parents aren’t comfortable with our own feelings. It’s one thing to teach your kids how to brush their teeth and it’s another to teach them about feelings. That being said, it poses a very important question, “How do you, as a parent, model what it looks like to have feelings and handle emotions?”

When children start to develop their feelings, they experience the whole spectrum of feelings. Happy, sad, hurt, excited, jealous, etc. Parents usually don’t mind when their child is experiencing happy feelings. In fact they will go to great lengths to ensure their child’s happiness. Know that this is a natural reaction to want to “protect” your child from these “bad” feelings but you may be doing more harm than good.

Feelings are feelings. They aren’t right or wrong, just feelings. When children are feeling anything but good, parents will often think there is something wrong with their child or want to fix them. When in reality, they are just feeling and actually there is no need to move them out of the feeling unless they are harming themselves or others because they haven’t learned how to express it in a healthy way. One of the best things you could do for your child is to let them experience the whole spectrum of feelings, from happiness to sadness, joy to anger. There are two things that you’ll want to take into consideration here. One is how you can model feelings for your child and the second is guiding your child to manage their own feelings.

A somewhat typical example of modeling feelings for your child would be if you came home from a long and hard day at the office. You could get angry and start yelling at your significant other and/or children. This would in turn be modeling for your kids that when we are upset, it’s okay to yell. Instead, what you could try is coming home and saying to your family, “I’ve had a really hard and stressful day at work and I’m feeling grumpy. I’m going to take a bath or go for a run so that I can take care of myself.” This allows you the opportunity to model for your kids that feeling grumpy is okay. It also models for them what it looks like to take care of themselves.

The second would be guiding your child on how they can start to manage their own feelings. If your child is visibly angry and hits his sister, you might say, “I can see that you’re really mad right now and it’s not okay to hit your sister. What would be another way you could let her know that you’re angry without hitting her?” If the child persist then you might say, “What do you need to take care of yourself right now?”

These questions will guide your child to healthier, alternative ways that they can start to express their feelings and emotions. When we talk our kids out of their feelings, we are taking away a beautiful opportunity for them to grow and learn. As parents, we want to give our kids every advantage in life. This includes allowing them to feel all their emotions. It’s where they develop their love, resilience, passion and understanding but it starts with you.

There are a lot of wonderful tools out there from books to courses for parents who are struggling to model/teach their children about feelings. Some of the tools that I offer are the Redirecting Children’s Behavior (RCB) classes for parents and children along with my “Key To Personal Freedom” course. In addition, there are personal development courses for adults such as the “Freedom to Be” Course and the “Remembrance Course” offered through the Indigo Village website. For more information on these classes, you can visit www.indigovillage.com for details.

Hibernation and the Holidays

2010-11-30T15:47:00.000-08:00

I think it’s safe to say that most people associate the Holidays with being busy, feeling rushed, overwhelmed and pressed for time. Whether you’re dealing with Holiday Parties, packed malls or School fundraisers and Christmas plays, you’ll definitely benefit from doing what 90% of the animals on this planet do most during this time of year, Hibernate and SLOW DOWN!

The days are shorter and it becomes natural for our bodies to want to slow down. Here are some ideas for you and your family as you head into the rush of the Holiday Season.

1) Limit the amount of Holiday gatherings you and your family attend

One idea is to have each person in your family pick one thing they would like to do together as a Family. This will ensure that everyone gets the opportunity to enjoy something that makes the Holidays special for them. You can plan little things like decorating the tree or bigger events like going to see a Christmas movie. Whatever you choose, make sure to pick wisely and stick with your choices.

2) Understand and Manage your child’s limitations

Your children have their breaking point just like you do. If you know your (child)ren will only last an hour at your friends Christmas Party, then only plan to stay an hour. Signs that your child/ren are getting close to their breaking point are when they become agitated, tired, hungry, sick, whining or fighting. Know your child’s limits and plan accordingly.

3) Have weekly family meetings

Keep to your family meetings. When you gather together each week, make sure you plan plenty of down time. It will help with the slowing down process and give you and your family time to relax and de-stress. I especially like this process because it models for our children what it looks like to practice self-care and calming.

4) Sponsor a family in need

While most families are gathering around opening presents on Christmas morning, there are still plenty of families who are less fortunate and could use some help this Holiday Season. Sponsoring a Family for the Holidays is a great opportunity to teach your child/ren the importance of giving. Have them pick out an item they wish to give to the family and keep them involved in the process as much as possible. Soon, their curiosity and capacity for compassion will grow.

The Journey Into Why: A Chat with Simon Sinek October 2010

2010-11-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

The Journey Into Why: A Chat with Simon Sinek

October 2010

by Marcie Peters

What inspires people to accomplish, succeed, lead, and try to change the world? What motivates people to make certain decisions? With copious consumer choices, how do you find and keep loyal customers? What makes someone a leader?

One of the most sought-after speakers in America today, Simon Sinek, has been intent on formulating the answers to such questions. Simon, who is slated to speak in San Diego on November 6, 2010 at the University of San Diego (Joan Kroc Institute of Peace and Justice) for the Indigo Village charity foundation, is the author of the book released in 2009: Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action. He is a marketing and leadership expert, prolific writer, and charismatic speaker featured on MSNBC, CNN, National Public Radio, Success Television and TED.com (see Simon’s TED speech). Simon graciously took a few moments from his hectic schedule to elaborate on the message that has been sweeping the country.

Q: Simon, I understand that this has been a very personal journey for you. Could you tell us your story and how you came up with the idea for "Why"?

A: My journey started about four and a half years ago when I lost my passion for what I was doing. From all superficial standards I should have felt great about what I was doing – I owned my own business, which was going well and had amazing clients and produced quality work…but I didn’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning. Through a lucky confluence of events, I discovered a pattern: all great and inspiring leaders and organizations exist on three levels: what they do, how they do it, and why they do it. I realized that I knew what I did and how I did it but didn’t know why I did it. I became obsessed with this idea. Until I knew why I couldn’t be whole. Then I discovered that this idea was not just a theory but was based on biology [reference to the Golden Circle: the limbic brain – the decision-making part of the brain that governs behavior, trust and loyalty – and how it corresponds to why].

Once I realized my why – to inspire people to do what inspires them – I stopped talking about what I do, and began telling people about what I believe instead. Not only did it restore my passion, but it started having a profound effect on my career. I shared the idea with friends and they started making changes in their lives, and they invited me to share it with their friends. People kept inviting me to share with them what I had learned. And for me, the challenge was no longer what to do but how to I find all the great ways to bring this to life. And that set in motion what is now a very surreal life. I now receive two to four speaking requests per day. Prior to four years ago, the amount of speaking I did was minimal. There’s nothing more incredible, more fulfilling than being able to share something that has so profoundly changed my life with others. I get emails, I hear and see the impact of this message. I don’t think I invented anything; I put words to something that makes it actionable. To be able to share this with others is the greatest journey there can be.

Q: What is your inspiration?

A: The thing that inspires me is the thing I give to the world. Ninety percent of people don’t feel fulfilled by the work that they do. And I’ve been there, I’ve been a part of that ninety percent… but I think that number is way too high. I understand that the world is imperfect, but that number is way too high. I want to see that number reversed; I want to live in a world where ninety percent of people feel fulfilled by the work they do and the life they live. That is now my absolute devotion - to connect with people, find and encourage the leaders and organizations that can help change that statistic. To find the organizations that start with why and create cultures where people love to work there. Anyone who wants to can carry the message and join the movement – we are going to change the world and reverse that statistic.

Q: How do you think your message differs from old adages such as "follow your dreams" or "do what you love" or "find your passion and the money will follow"?

A: It’s all true but my message is more actionable. The only people who say to do what you love are already doing what they love. We all know to follow our passions – it’s true, that’s not the problem. But how is it actionable? If we knew how to do it, we would all do it. It’s not the theoretical construct that’s the problem. The problem is that people don’t know how to follow their dreams or find what they love. What you love or are passionate about comes from somewhere and is grounded in something. I want to help people get to that place and find that thing [their why].

Q: What has been the biggest surprise or lesson to you on this journey?

A: The biggest surprise is that regardless of who I speak with - military or non-profit or individuals or entrepreneurs - all the problems are exactly the same. They are all human being problems. People are all looking for fulfillment and to find others who believe what they believe, people they can trust, and to feel a part of something. Every organization likes to believe that their problems are unique, but I’ve learned they are all the same at the core.

Q: What is the best way for college students to utilize or implement your message?

A: College students are at a unique crossroads because their “why” is not fully formed. Most students ask themselves the wrong question. Instead of asking what do I want to do, the question is why do I do what I do? Once you answer this question, they can apply it. College students should evaluate why they like certain professors, what clubs do they love being a part of, what about the college experience do they love, who are their mentors and why? Start noticing the commonalities. The earlier you start figuring this out, the more fulfillment you can have for the rest of your life. And ultimately that will lead to greater success and happiness.

Q: What is the best way for parents to integrate and pass on this philosophy to their children??

A: To talk about it. A husband and a wife can explicitly pass on beliefs and values to their children. The more explicit the parents are about their values and beliefs, the more they will get passed on to their kids.

Q: What does faith mean to you?

A: Faith in yourself, in religion, and in others are all the same thing: undying belief. Faith is undying belief in wanting to be part of a cause. The more you can find and surround yourself with people who believe what you believe, the more you have undying faith, which is a source of charisma. Charisma is the undying belief in something that is bigger than yourself. Those with deep faith have charisma.

Q: How do you see this movement progressing?

A: Fast and big! What is important to me is that the message/movement goes automatically. I’m not the only one who can do it or should do it. Those who believe what I believe should take up arms and pass it on to others. The way the movement will grow is by not having to be about me – it’s bigger than any one person.

To see Simon Sinek in person and hear more about his journey into Why and how it’s changing the world, plan on attending Indigo Village’s annual ‘It Takes A Village to Create Change’ conference being held November 6, 2010. Simon’s keynote speech will be followed by a question and answer forum. You’ll also have access to 17 breakout sessions by leaders in the field of health, nutrition, self-empowerment, parenting, and more.

Founded in 2005 by Susie Walton (who has raised five boys including L.A. Laker Luke Walton), Indigo Village is committed to inspiring positive change and peace in the community and the world by empowering individuals, families and parents through education, personal development, holistic health modalities, and life-changing experiences. To learn more about the event and the non-profit Indigo Village Educational Foundation, to purchase event tickets, or to donate to the cause, call 760-633-3754 or visit www.villageconference.com.

Indigo Village
www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

Myth: Children are Not Very Capable

2010-11-03T16:33:00.000-07:00

For different reasons we often do not think our kids are very capable and as a result we end up doing too many things for them. The more you do for your child the more you weaken your child. If we view our kids as not capable how will they be capable teens and adults? They will end up looking to others for guidance and not within, which is where the true answer lies.

New Idea:

Kids are Capable. Be Willing to Ask for Their Advice

Walton Story by Susie

Christopher is the youngest of my sons. When he was in fourth grade he loved rollerblading. One day I asked him to teach me how to rollerblade. He was very patient in teaching me and we had a blast. Later on, he asked his older brother Luke if he wanted to learn. Luke did, so outside they went. When they came back in the house you could see how happy Christopher was feeling having taught his mom and older brother how to rollerblade.

Teaching Point:

Kids love to be helpful if given the chance at a young age. Give children age-appropriate opportunities to help around the house. At early ages, children want to help with the dusting, the cooking, the table setting, and the cleaning. This is the easiest and best time to teach children these skills. It is helpful to the whole family and will be helpful to them when they move out and begin life on their own. At first, it will take a little bit longer to show them how to dry the pan, how to fold the hand towel, how to put the napkins around the table, or how to dust the coffee table, but the dividends are well worth the investment.

TIPS:

1. Have your children teach you something new.

2. Ask their advice on a problem.

3. Be willing to let your kids help you. No need to play

'supermom' or 'superdad'

Indigo Village

www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

Children Misbehave Because They are Spoiled or Bad

2010-11-01T16:04:00.000-07:00

This belief will put a lot of pressure on you as the parent because you will view the child's behavior as a reflection of you. As a result you will end up either threatening or punishing your child for their behavior, which may remove the symptom, but not deal with the real source of the behavior.

New Idea:

Children Misbehave Because Their Needs are Not Being Met

We are the only species in the world that need more than food, water and shelter to survive. As a human being we need to feel a sense of importance, a sense of belonging, to feel love, and that we are valued. I feel parents of a long time ago had an easier job with this principle. Most kids didn't go to school past 14 because they were in needed in the family business, whatever that may have been. If they were in school it was a one-room school with older kids helping out younger kids. During the harvest time schools would close because the kids were needed out in the fields.

What about today? Where do our kids get that sense of importance and belonging? One of the reasons I feel gangs are so prevalent today is because kids want to belong. You see it when your six or seven-year-old first joins a team. The most important thing to them is the uniform! We love to belong.

Teaching Point:

The more discouraged kids become the more they will act out. It does not mean you should let them get away with their behavior. You will be more present and respectful handling it if you understand that the misbehavior is your child communicating that one of his or her basic needs are not being fulfilled. These will show up as four different goals of behavior. These four goals are: attention, power, revenge, and inadequacy.

Goal of Attention:

Children with the goal of attention have a mistaken belief that the more time the parent spends with them, the more the parent loves them. With the goal of attention, you as the parent or adult will feel annoyed or irritated. This child can be both very charming and drive you crazy. A key word to describe these types of children is engaging as they equate love with keeping their parent busy with them. Read the rest of the story in Susie Walton's book "Key to personal freedom" How Myths Affect our Family Lives

Indigo Village
www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

Indigo Village Educational Foundation Event

2010-10-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

Come help support families and educational programing on our community at the Indigo Village Educational Foundation fundraising event called "It Takes a Village to Create Change". This event takes place November 6, 2010 at the Joan Kroc Institute of Peace and Justice at the University of San Diego (5998 Alcala Park) from 8:30am - 4:30pm.

Want to know more about this Organization? The Organization is called the Indigo Village Educational Foundation and they are based in Encinitas, CA. Their president, Susie Walton, has been a local parenting expert in the San Diego area for over 20 years. She happens to also be the Mother of Los Angeles Laker, Luke Walton, who also grew up in SD.

This event "It Takes a Village to Create Change" started 3 years ago with the infamous saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." This is Susie's favorite quote as she has built Indigo Village and the Foundation in order to support families and educational programing on our community. The Foundation holds fundraisers throughout the year in order to raise funds to go towards scholarships in programs like our "Redirecting Children's Behavior" Parenting Program and our "Remembrance Course" Personal Development Program. All scholarship recipients have to go through an application process and are targeted towards communities where access and funding of these types of programs are limited. We believe that change starts with us. Their mantra is, "Work with children and impact one child at a time. Work with parents and impact generations."

Simon Sinek will be their keynote speaker for this event. He has a pretty large presence on the East Coast. He is a leadership expert, Author of "Start With Why" and is a columnist for various publications. He will be talking about his message of "How great leaders inspire action" and how it ties into the sustainability of a movement, such as the Foundation's cause.

Here are just a few things to look forward to when you purchase your ticket.

45 minute Keynote Presentation by leadership expert and Author of "Start With Why", Simon Sinek! Along with a 45 minute Question and Answer Forum! Simon has been featured on: CNN, TED.com and Success Television!
Access to over 17 workshop break-out sessions by our hand-picked professional presenters
Continental Breakfast and full Lunch
Access to over 15 Exhibitors and their services and products
Photography Exhibit on site, featuring "Stirring the Fire" a global movement to empower Women and Girls.
Gift bags with offers and opportunities from local businesses and organizations
A chance to network with professionals and organizations committed to creating positive change in our community.
Much, much more!

Indigo Village
www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

Creating Families through Adoption: Handling the "Abandonment" Word

2010-10-28T15:38:00.000-07:00

This featured workshop will be one of many at "It Takes a Village to Create Change" conference

Description:

Parents are asked “Why?” by their children about almost everything. Parents who adopt may have an additional “why” asked of them. “Why am I not with her?” or “Why did she give me up?” or “Why was I abandoned?” Along with these questions come intense, complex and ambiguous emotions for everyone in the family. In this powerful workshop – for parents and for adoption professionals – you gain clarity and insights to assist you in handling emotional issues, in talking about adoption with your child, and in handling the "why" so that you may move beyond the “abandonment” word.

Biographical Sketch – Maggie Macaulay, MS Ed, the owner of Whole Hearted Parenting in Miramar, Florida, has assisted parents in creating cooperative, peaceful homes for over a decade. She teaches the Redirecting Children’s BehaviorTM Course, trains course instructors and leads RCB South Florida, a team of certified parent educators serving Broward, Palm Beach and Miami-Dade Counties. Maggie is a certified coach and a featured parenting expert on NBC 6’s South Florida Today as well as for the online sites Parental Wisdom and New Baby. Maggie created and facilitates Whole Hearted Adoption, a full-day workshop that explores myths and beliefs about parenthood, adoption and family building. Maggie is a certified facilitator of the Freedom to Be course through Your Infinite Life Training and Coaching Company, and she is the recipient of the 2008 American Business Women's Association Spirit of Excellence Parent Educator of the Year Award. You may reach Maggie at 954-483-8021 or through www.WholeHeartedParenting.com and

maggie_macaulay@msn.com.

Indigo Village
www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

Youth and Cyber-Bullying. What Parents don’t know CAN hurt them

2010-10-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

Cyber-Bullying is becoming an ever-growing problem with today's youth. This featured workshop at "It Takes a Village to Create Change" conference will help you understand what you can do to protect your children and family

Presenter: Anti-Defamation League

Description:

With today s increasing access to online technology, the Internet has become a vehicle for propagating hatred and intolerance based on race, religion, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation and the like. Electronic media like cell phone text messaging, chat rooms and online instant messaging have become increasingly popular among young people as ways to intimidate, harass and humiliate one another. Whether these kinds of cyberbullying are related to race or religion or some other difference or because of some other characteristic, such as physical appearance or personality, they can produce devastating consequences for the targets.

The A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE® Institute developed Youth and Cyberbullying: What Families Don t Know Can Hurt Them to help adult family members understand the language, skills, information and challenges associated with cyberbullying. This knowledge will assist families in helping their children/teens respond in appropriate ways to incidents of cyberbullying and in promoting safe and respectful online environments for all people. The training serves as one of the Institute s many ways to address bias and discrimination, and promote safety and inclusion for all.

Program Goals:

1. To increase understanding and awareness about the problem of cyber-bullying.

2. To educate and empower adult family members to effectively discuss and respond to their children and teen's experiences with cyberbullying.

3. To provide adult family members with the tools/skills needed to educate their children/teens in responding to cyberbullying and in being allies to others.

Youth and Cyber Bullying- What Parents Don't Know CAN Hurt Them by the Anti-Defamation League

Indigo Village
www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

If you Give Kids an Inch, They will Take a Mile

2010-10-25T16:50:00.000-07:00

Many parents I've worked with have a strong belief attached to this one. They believe if they do not make kids follow their commands, the kids will take advantage. As a result, the parents become even stricter hoping that the child will know who is boss, which often results in more power struggles and problems.

New Idea: Kids Have Great Solutions to Problems

You will be amazed at the solutions your children come up with. Take the time to ask for their help when you are in the middle of a power struggle or feel stuck on how to deal with a certain issue. The following stories provide insightful and easy ways to empower your children and make your job as a parent much more enjoyable! I cannot tell you how many times my kids have come to my rescue when I felt I did not have an answer or idea for solving a problem.

Walton Story by Susie

My teenage boys had a habit of leaving their dirty clothes and towels on the floor expecting me to pick them up and wash them. I told them that I was willing to do laundry but not willing to walk around the house and pick up their dirty laundry and wash it too. I asked them how we could make this work for all of us. They came up with the solution that I would continue to do the laundry as long as they put it in the laundry basket or in the laundry room. This worked for me.

Story: Fair is Fair

We learned never to assume that we knew what seemed FAIR to our children. The following is an example.

One lovely autumn afternoon near Halloween, my husband and our young son and daughter, ventured out to do some errands. Their last stop became the source of much excitement. They had gleefully purchased a huge, furry, battery-operated spider with which to terrorize their poor-unsuspecting mother. This premeditated joy came to a screeching halt however, during the car ride home. BOTH of our children wanted to HOLD the coveted spider. This seemingly small detail mushroomed into an enormous conflict, complete with a yelling, screaming tug-o-war while Tom was driving. Struggling to keep his eyes on the road and his sanity intact, my husband suddenly remembered that RCB mantra: "Okay Guy's, let's do a 'Win-Win' with that spider."

Now as a rational adult you may think, as Tom did, that this suggestion would likely lead to a “take-turns-holding- the-spider” approach. Not so, instead our children calmly negotiated what was for them, the perfect solution. Our daughter Lili held the spider the entire way home, while our gadget-loving son Kyle held the real prize. Now all parties were content and peaceful (including my husband), each secure in the knowledge that they had made the best deal. Everyone except me of course, because wretched spider has startled me every Halloween since.

Teaching Point:

Because kids receive up to a thousand compliant statements a day, they eventually stop listening to what we are telling them to do. Whenever possible, remember to ask them what needs to be done or how a problem can be solved, rather then telling them what to do.

Indigo Village
www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

Twixt and Tween, Making the Most of the Tween Years

2010-10-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

Ah, tweens, hormones aplenty, social and emotional growth occurring at a dizzying pace, fun times! The 9- to 13-year-old starts down the path of self-identity, independence, and development of moral values that will mark the teen years. They push you away, and pull you closer. It can be a confusing time for the tween, and for the adults in your tweens' life. Certified educators Heather Lampron and Joe O'Quinn will demystify these years, reviewing normal and expected behaviors for 4th through 8th graders, about age 9 to 13. In this interactive session, attendees will practice some quick and easy tools to defuse emotions, peer conflict, and setting limits. Learn shortcuts to connect in a positive way with the tweens in your home, school, or program, and emphasize positive interactions in the group.

Especially for teachers: As a 5th grade teacher in the acclaimed Poway school district, Joe O'Quinn, M. Ed. has a classroom full of tweens on a daily basis. "I love teaching 5th graders. They grow up so much over the course of one school year. They are learning about themselves, their skills, their dreams, their classmates, and the world. It's an honor to be a part of their process." As an experienced teacher, Joe has a variety of tips to offer teachers, parents, and coaches on how to avoid some common pitfalls and stay connected with our tweens.

Fun fact: have you ever wondered where the "tween" moniker comes from? Heather and Joe will clue you in!

Does your thinking limit your success?

Have you ever had the feeling you were standing in the way of your own success? In this presentation, you will get a glimpse of the gorilla in the doorway leading to your dream life. Presenter, Rick Itzkowich, engages attendees in a stimulating experiential session. You’ll have the opportunity to explore the domino effect your thinking plays in the game of your personal and career life.

Takeaways:

An awareness of the power your thoughts have on the results you see in your life.

Pre-event: How to look beyond the looking glass and see who’s really in charge.

An understanding of why your assumptions about love or money actually affect how much of both you have in your life.

Pre-event: Why being aware of your perceptions about finances and love is a critical skill.

A new way of listening and reframing the judgmental chatter in your head.

Pre-event: Ways to stop living with the same 60,000 thoughts each day.

Nourishing Wisdom: Improving Your Relationship with Food While Also Improving Your Children's Health

In this session we will look at health from a whole-person perspective, understanding that one's health is an expression of the complex interplay between the physical and the chemical, mental and emotional as well as spiritual and environmental aspects of one's life and being. We will discuss how every person has unique dietary needs and how to find out what those are by listening to your own body vs. external dietary theories.

We will also talk about kids nutrition - their current health challenges and solutions to those challenges. Participants will learn 8 easy ways to raise healthier children in today's world and what kinds of nutritional supplements are of the most value to growing bodies.

Participants will also learn how to balance both the food that they eat with primary food, the things that feed us other than food - and how to communicate these concepts to their children so that the whole family can have a positive, nourishing relationship with food. They will also learn about cravings in detail and how to deconstruct them so that they can understand their origin, mitigate the emotional response to food and learn to improve their health across the board.

Creating Families through Adoption:

Handling the "Abandonment" Word

Biography

Maggie Macaulay

Maggie Macaulay, MS Ed, the owner of Whole Hearted Parenting in Miramar, Florida, has assisted parents in creating cooperative, peaceful homes for over a decade. She teaches the Redirecting Children’s Behavior™ Course, trains course instructors and leads RCB South Florida, a team of certified parent educators serving Broward, Palm Beach and Miami-Dade Counties. Maggie is a certified coach and a featured parenting expert on NBC 6’s South Florida Today as well as for the online sites Parental Wisdom and New Baby. Maggie created and facilitates Whole Hearted Adoption, a full-day workshop that explores myths and beliefs about parenthood, adoption and family building. Maggie is a certified facilitator of the Freedom to Be course through Your Infinite Life Training and Coaching Company, and she is the recipient of the 2008 American Business Women's Association Spirit of Excellence Parent Educator of the Year Award. You may reach Maggie at 954-483-8021 or www.WholeHeartedParenting.com and maggie_macaulay@msn.com.

Indigo Village
www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

Breathing Life back into Childhood

2010-10-21T16:02:00.000-07:00

“Childhood has become indentured to test scores, performance and competition. We face an epidemic of unhealthy, disengaged, unprepared kids trying to manage as best they can.” – Vickie Albeles, Director, Race to Nowhere

“I won’t give up on my kids. There’s just so many different parents out there that want so much for their children.” – Maria, mother of Francisco, first grade, The Brox, Waiting for Superman

Breathing Life back into Childhood

This compelling workshop will take a look at the pressures that are being put on the children of today and will explore not only the breakdown in our school systems, but also in our families. Come gain some new tools to create a home and child(ren) who will thrive. Presented by Author, Susie Walton who has spent the last two decades serving and coaching parents and families throughout Southern California, every participant will leave with a better understanding of the children of today, their needs and how we can all partner to support them in their own journey. Don’t miss this chance to get this valuable information. It could change your child’s experience of growing up!
Susie Walton

As a recipient of the San Diego Parent Educator of the Year Award, Susie Walton is a leading expert in the field of communication and relationships with an emphasis on family dynamics. Susie has teamed with various companies and organizations such as Qualcomm, Sharp Hospital, and Children’s Hospital to develop and implement practical and positive change for youth and families.

Susie is a pioneer in parent education and has been leading seminars, hands-on workshops and full length parenting classes, instructor trainings, teacher in-services and one on one coaching for 20 years. In the early 90s Susie acted on her heartfelt belief that true positive change begins in the home and created an organization to help reduce stress and frustration in the areas of family relationships and raising children.

Susie’s aspirations and dedication to providing positive change and mutual respect, inspired her to open Indigo Village in 2005. Indigo Village is a practical, and authentic creation that comes from the saying “It takes a village to raise a child”. It is a unique and dynamic center allowing everyone the opportunity to join together for the purpose of enriching the community and bringing peace to the world at large. Indigo Village is home to many classes, workshops, therapists, counselors, and other resources for families and individuals young and old.

Susie's strengths lie in her motivational speaking and when she is not sharing her expertise in parenting and communication, Susie is out and about as a regular guest on the local news station Channel 10 and as a radio guest on the “Jeff and Jer Showgram”. She is an expert on team communications and regularly consults and strategizes with coaches and sports psychologists.

Professionally and personally, Susie is an active and influential community member, holding experience as a Board member for the YMCA Youth & Family Services, Families Forever and more recently the Indigo Village Educational Foundation.

Susie's accomplishments have received tremendous recognition; such as, defining and writing parenting course work for both the Center for Child Protection and the California State Penal System, a program for parents who are incarcerated minors. Susie played volleyball while attending UCLA and Sonoma State, and is still an active athlete who enjoys swimming, body boarding and yoga. The 5th child in a family of 10, she herself has 4 sons, and makes her home in Encinitas, California.

Is your road map working for you or against you?

2010-10-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

This world is advancing. People are starting to awaken and realize that they have choices when it comes to WHY, HOW and WHAT they experience in their life.

Old humanity is re-active/inactive and symptomatic. “Desperate times call for desperate measures” is what the slogan would be for this generation. A generation of people who, out of desperation, will react to “fix” the situation. Think about it. They show up all the time. For instance, a parent will call Indigo Village and say, “Help! My child is punching my other child. What should I do?” Only out of desperation, when sh*t hits the fan, will people react to their lives, their circumstances.

What they don’t realize is that they are the ones creating their own chaos. Good, bad or indifferent, they are creating it. Furthermore, what they really don’t realize is that there’s a better way.

What if people actually operated from a place of intention versus reaction. Why not have an intention to “live a life full of love and purpose” versus reacting to life in order to “live a life full of love and purpose?”

Let's take the example of starting your own business. The way most of us may experience this might sound something like this:

“I’m going to go to college, earn my degree, gain some job experience, save my money and then start my own business.” What kinds of questions would you have after making this decision? You might ask the question of, “What am I going to major in?” or “What kind of company do I want to gain experience from?” Furthermore, what kinds of opportunities do you think this sentence creates for you? Since you’ve already mapped out HOW you are going to get there, it doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for anything else, other than choices within these little checkpoints you’ve set up for yourself.

Now, what if I were to start by saying to myself: "my intention is to start my own business". What kinds of questions do you think would come up after making this decision? You might start to ask questions like “What do I want my business to look like?” or “What types of services and products do I want to offer?” What kinds of opportunities do you think you would open up for you with this sentence? Believe it or not, a whole world of opportunities presents itself. Because you haven’t already mapped it all out, you actually leave room for life, creativity, experience, and even more importantly, the likelihood of a future YOU created out of an intention. Not some roadmap that you thought would get you there. Chances are you really don’t want to go to college, or gain job experience or better yet, save your money. What you really want is to start your own business. You just think that this is the path laid out before you because someone, at some point, told you that this was the way it is done or the way it’s supposed to be.

If this is true, lets consider this. How many times have you known someone, it may even be you, who has opted for the “Go to college, earn your degree, get a job, save your money and so on.” Chances are you probably know a lot. There’s probably even a very good chance that the majority of those people who had this intention probably didn’t get past “Earn your degree” or “Save your money.” Life happens and it’s ridiculous to think that we could have all the answers to HOW our life will end up or map out HOW we will get there.

Now how many people do you know who have lived their life out of an intention they have created for themselves? It could be something such as “I believe in saving lives and want to become a doctor” or “I believe in creating peace through families and want to educate parents.” Not very many, and the ones you do know, stick out because they are the ones who did it differently. They are the ones who decided to create what they want and they are leaders of today.

My point is simple, people who want to live a life that is truly theirs and be held responsible for what they create, will always benefit from starting with the WHY and THEN creating an intention for their life out of that place. If my WHY is, “I believe in creating peaceful families,” than my commitment to my WHY will mold my life experiences instead of my roadmap of laid out plans or my inaction/reaction.

If you want an honest shot at experiencing a life that is truly yours, than WHY is where you need to start. If you are honest about creating your life experience from the WHY, the Indigo Village Educational Foundation will be presenting this opportunity by bringing Simon Sinek, leadership expert and Author of “Start With Why” as a keynote speaker to their third annual conference at USD on November 6th. For more information on tickets and availability, go to www.villageconference.com.

Indigo Village

www.villageconference.com

www.facebook.com/Indigovillage

twitter.com/IndigoVillage

Children Aren’t Old Enough to Make Good Decisions?

2010-10-19T16:48:00.000-07:00

Oftentimes, we as parents do not feel that kids are capable of making good decisions. We end up telling them what to do, how to do it, and when to do it! Essentially we are raising robots who do not learn to think for themselves, as we are not encouraging them to develop their critical thinking skills. How can we hope that they will make good decisions when they are older if we do not allow them to make both good and not so good ones when they are young.

New Idea: Give them Choices

So often we get stuck in a power struggle with our children. i can tell you right now that most kids (just like many adults) do not like to be told what to do. Here are some stories about giving choices to minimize power struggles.

Teaching Point:
There are different kinds of choices:

Concrete choices:
Would you like to set the table or clear the table?

Playful choices:
Would you like to hop to bed or have a piggy-back ride to bed?

Choice with incentives:
Would you like to finish your show and have one
book or go to bed now and have three books?

Choice with consequences, best with young kids;
Your choice is to hold on to the shopping cart or be
put back into the shopping cart.

When offering any choice add the phrase,
“It is your decision,” it helps children learn that life is based on the decisions they make.

Story: The Dentist Every Parent Wished For
I have been seeing this young patient for about one and a half years. He is almost seven years old. The first few times I was barely able to look in his mouth, even to do a simple exam. He was very squirmy and was constantly moving his arms and head. He would get very nervous when I would look in his mouth, closing it in a protective and nervous manner.

I had just attended an RCB class with Susie. This young boy was my first patient the next morning. From the first moment I saw him I started practicing my RCB techniques. We talked about why he thought it was important to go to the dentist and the different things a dentist does.
I thanked him for being on time to the appointment and asked him what would make it a nice appointment for him. Once he sat we talked about the different things that he could do to help during his visit. I asked him if he wanted to have a quick visit or a long visit. He said a quick visit. I told him I felt he made a good choice. We talked about the different things he could help me with to make it a quick visit. We decided that keeping his hands to his side and his head still were good ways to help. I gave him the choice to either keep his hands to the side, on his lap, or on the arm rests. He recommended different ways to position his head. He made the choice to keep his head very still and with his chin slightly elevated.

After each decision, he was very happy with himself and became more and more excited to start implementing the decisions that he had decided upon. During the course of the appointment, he kept asking me if he was being a good helper. Each time, i told him that he made a good decision and was sticking to his promises. The patient was very happy and seemed to be encouraging himself.

In our office, we have traditionally given prizes to children after the appointment. This is in disagreement with the RCB notion of not giving praise or rewards, however, it is something that seems to be an expectation in a dental office. After the appointment, the young boy asked me if he could get a prize. I asked him if he felt he deserved one. Very enthusiastically, he said yes. I asked him why and he told me because he was a good helper. I asked him what he did to help and he said that he followed directions and kept his hands and head where he had decided they would be at the beginning of our appointment. I told the young boy that if he felt he wanted or really needed a prize that he was welcome to take one. The difference between this visit and past visits was remarkable. The appointment went very smoothly with very few interruptions. The boy showed a great sense of accomplishment and increased self-confidence. He left with a big smile on his face instead of one of frustration and low- morale.

TIPS:
1. Have your kids start making decisions on negotiable events.

2. Give them two choices, and then say, “You make the decision.” Be sure to stick with it even if they want to change the choice.

Indigo Village
www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

You can Discipline and Stay Close with Your Kids and Make a Great Family Team

2010-10-15T16:05:00.000-07:00

Myth One: Discipline Creates Distance This myth is old, but true if you were raised in an autocratic household. In this type of household, the parent was the boss and if you did not obey you were punished. By the time you were a teen many of us were not that connected to our parents and we certainly did not share information with them about what was going on in our life. Do you know that the majority of teens want to go to their parents when they have a problem or concern? Mot of thme do not fear being yelled at, lectured, grounded, or knowing their parent will not sleep for the next three months if they do, so it is not worth going to them!

New Idea: You can Discipline and Stay Close with Your Kids and Make a Great Family Team
So, how do we discipline and stay connected? In that moment when you want to yell or you are so frustrated that you feel like spanking or putting kid's in 'time out', pause a moment. In that moment, take some deep breaths, or walk away for a few seconds to self-calm. Then ask yourself the question, "Do I want to create distance or closeness right now?"

Teaching Point:
We distance ourselves from our children when we yell, threaten, shame or blame them. An example is when we yell with an angry or frustrated tone, “How many times have I told you not to spill your milk!” That may take care of the problem, but they will feel disconnected from you.

There are other healthier ways of disciplining than yelling or spanking, which is what we often do when we are frustrated. The pause is important here because it allows us to respond to the situation instead of just reacting. In that pause some options are: take a deep breath, count to 10, take a sip of water, or maybe just get eye level with your child. Do what works best for you.

In that moment, think to yourself, “I can discipline and stay connected.” Instead of saying, “How many times have I told you not to spill your milk,” you might say, “Lets figure out a different way for you to be able to pour your milk and keep it from spilling.” Or, “Okay, so you spilled the milk, what needs to be done to get it cleaned up?”

Story: Chocolate Floor
My three-year old son and I were in the kitchen and he dropped a half-full container of Chocolate Nesquik mix on the kitchen floor. As taught in my Redirecting Children's Beahavior (RCB) class by Susie, instead of yelling at my child and creating distance, I paused a moment and took a deep breath. I then looked at him and said, “What do you need to do with that?” He proceeded to get the scooper and scooped up all of the chocolate mix off the floor. Then I handed him a spray bottle of water and he sprayed it all with water and scrubbed it. It was pretty cool.

TIPS:
1. Seek to understand before being understood, (be curious)
2. Remember to pause so you can respond instead of react
3. When pausing: breathe,count to ten, or step away for a moment.
4. Ask kids questions rather then telling them what to do.
5. Use mistakes as an opportunity to teach
6. Have fun
7. Breathe

Indigo Village
www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

Create Change by Investing in Yourself!

2010-10-07T15:24:00.000-07:00

Just for a moment imagine being a part of a shared experience, along with many others in your community who care about change…being part of a grassroots movement that could affect the world in a decisive and positive way.

I recently heard about a neat-sounding conference called “It Takes a Village to Create Change.” This annual event is being held Saturday, November 6, 2010 at the University of San Diego; the goal of the organization is to create positive change in individuals and the community by transforming self, family, personal relationships, community and the world. An ambitious goal, but change must start somewhere, after all. I just love the purpose put forth by this group at Indigo Village who even created a non-profit foundation in order to assist those who cannot afford the many excellent self-development and parenting programs they provide.

The keynote speaker is someone everyone is talking about (at least in my circles). After watching his TED speech, I immediately bought Simon Sinek’s newly released book, “Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action.” This is an amazingly articulate man with an interesting quantification of a very simple idea – a powerful paradigm shift that could help many businesses and individuals become more successful, influential, and inspirational. Click here to learn more and see Simon’s TED speech – and prepare to get psyched to see him in person!

In addition to the amazing keynote speaker, the breakout sessions should further prove to be insightful and educational. Indigo Village has put together an outstanding lineup: several doctors are speaking, a clinical nutritionist, psychologists, parenting experts, and life coaches, among others. Topics range from exploring how thinking affects success, life and money, dealing with life’s natural cycle of pain and healing, raising happy children, how to build a green community, raising spirited kids, exploring your relationship with food, helping tweens deal with hormones, cyber-bullying of youths, couples communication, and “flat earth” medicine.

I also want to say that I have personally taken many of the programs offered by Indigo Village (Redirecting Children’s Behavior, The Remembrance Course, Freedom to Be), and they are all excellent, even a catalyst for healing, and worth checking into www.indigovillage.com.
Tickets are discounted if you buy them ahead of time, and include continental breakfast and lunch. Check out www.villageconference.com for information, to buy tickets, or to make a donation. Let the change begin with yourself!

Indigo Village
www.villageconference.com
www.facebook.com/Indigovillage
twitter.com/IndigoVillage

Speaking from your heart, A Universal Language

2010-08-31T18:30:00.000-07:00

Last week I received a call from my friend, Colena, who I have known for the past 10 years through playing basketball together and as a graduate of the RCB parenting course. She asked me if I would come and be a guest speaker to this group of Women. This, however, was no ordinary group of Women.

As it turns out, my friend had gotten involved in a Women’s Leadership Program at UCSD. This particular program was housing approximately 14 Women Community Leaders from within several Latin American Countries. The US Embassy’s in each Country had recognized and chosen them to partake in this one week Women Empowerment Leadership retreat. I was honored that Colena had thought of me and I graciously accepted her invitation. Shortly after accepting the speaking engagement, she informed me that out that out of 14 women with whom I would be speaking to, none of them spoke English. Needless to say, I would be speaking via an interpreter.

I spent almost a full day with these women. The majority of them had traveled from their indigenous villages in countries like Chile, Venezuela, Argentina, Bolivia, Columbia and Mexico. I watched carefully as each Woman shared their story. As I simultaneously listened to our interpreter and his slightly delayed translations through my earpiece, I noticed that despite their stories of repression, abuse and lack of access to formal education, these women showed intelligence, power and compassion.

They talked about things such as oneness and how all of us our connected. One woman went on to explain that “race” is only something that we as a society have developed in order to discriminate and distinguish among people of different color. She ended by saying that the only true race is the human race and we must all come together if we want to make a difference in this world.

It was easy to see why these women had been chosen. Each of them possessed an incredible amount of courage and ability to speak from their hearts. As each woman stood and shared their unique story, none of them held back the raw emotion that accompanied their life experiences. Even for someone like me, whose Spanish vocabulary is very limited could connect with and appreciate the display of humanness right in front of me. This rawness of human emotion is what made it possible for each and every one of us to immediately open and connect through our hearts. I didn’t need an interpreter to understand what these women had gone through to get here. It was clear that they all had a story, a purpose and a passion.

When I got up to speak, I told them about my own journey with my family, my sons and the impact I had hoped to make in this world. Though the barriers of our two languages were clearly present, it was also clear that the same barriers didn’t apply when we spoke through our hearts. No matter what language you speak, or what part of the world you come from, everyone and anyone was able to recognize this heart-centered, universal language.

At the end of the day, I went to bed thinking about what it means to speak from your heart. I realized that for most of us, this would probably be one of the most uncomfortable things you can think of. Yet these women, amongst their peers and a couple of strangers, demonstrated this with ease and grace.

It was one of the most powerful things I had ever seen. There were no worries about what other people thought, no second-guessing themselves, just emotion in its truest form. It was if they had found freedom in the ability to feel, to connect and for a few of them to love again. I would like to think that these women learned as much from me as I did from them that day. It was incredibly inspiring to experience them having a voice and being vulnerable and trusting enough to share their story.

May each of you reading this take the time to consciously share this universal language with someone you come in contact with today.

–Susie Walton

The Importance of working through Core Issues before pregnancy.

2010-07-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

All parents want the best for their children. When I had my first child at the age of 24 I knew I wanted the best for him, however, I never took the time to ask myself, “What does wanting the best for my child really mean to me?” When I finally sat down and asked myself this question, I realized that what I wanted for my child and what I was able to provide for my child were two different things.

The fact is we all have limiting beliefs that are developed by the age of 7. In my book, Key to Personal Freedom, How Myths Affect Our Family Lives, I give examples of some of these limiting beliefs. One example that many of us can identify with is the belief that 'Mistakes' are Bad.

If you can think back to when you were a child, and remember getting in trouble whenever you made a mistake ex: spilled your milk or didn't make it to the bathroom on time, there is a good chance you have the belief that mistakes are bad. So the way that this mistaken belief gets implemented with your kids is when someone makes a mistake, especially when you are tired... there goes your serenity and we often end up yelling at our kids.

Another myth I often see is 'A good parent never thinks of her or him self first". If this is a belief of yours you will end up stressed out and not having a whole lot of fun raising your kids.

This is why I find it extremely important to do some personal growth work before baby comes, (or for those of you who already have kids the sooner the better). At Indigo Village, we have a weekend seminar called, The Remembrance Course. The sole purpose of this course is for you to experience the freedom of letting go of core issues and limiting beliefs and replacing them with new beliefs that will give you the freedom to create the life and the family of your dreams.

I recommend this course to just about all the couples and families that I see in my practice. In gaining some awareness around your core issues, we are then able to look at new beliefs we would like to create in order to produce the outcome that we desire the most. Some new beliefs you would want to anchor in from our previous examples is that 'Mistakes' are actually wonderful opportunities to learn and grow from, or that taking care of yourself helps you be a better parent.

Ultimately, what gets in the way of allowing our kids to experience their own journey is us! These limiting beliefs get in the way of parenting our children the way we want to parent. Being proactive about your core beliefs is a responsibility that every parent should think about for themselves and for their family. –Susie Walton

The Importance of Partnership between Home and School

2010-06-01T13:10:00.000-07:00

The word “Partnership” is a beautiful one and carries with it, so many meanings for so many people. So how do we establish a common idea of partnership? It takes communication, it takes time & effort and it takes a willingness to be partners. The foundation for such a partnership should be the mutual belief that each party has your child’s best interest at heart. In order to establish this belief, time and energy needs to be put into formulating and growing the relationship between home and school. Some suggestions for doing so are:

Take the time - to insure you understand the philosophies of the school’s programs and curriculum.
Participate – Participate in school meetings and events. Meetings are designed to take care of your questions and concerns, to provide you further knowledge of how the classroom and school operate and to allow you the opportunity to create relationships with your child’s teachers and other parents whose children are enrolled in your child’s class. School events enrich your experience of the school. Socializing with one another is a wonderful opportunity to relate with all members of the community and to develop relationships at a deeper level.
Enroll in Redirecting Children’s Behavior & Participate in Parent Education Programs – By doing so, it allows consistency & continuity to be created between home and school and a common language can be established.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate – Any time you have a question, concern or idea, please make the time to speak to your child’s teacher, an administrator or anyone who can successfully assist you in coming to a conclusion that will work in the best interest of everyone involved. Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. With communication – All things are possible; Without it – Nothing is.

Village Gate Children’s Academy is a partner with Indigo Village. Partnership is a cornerstone of our program. Village Gate Children’s Academy serves children Kindergarten through Sixth Grade with Academic Year Programs and Summer Programs. We invite you to find out more by attending our Open House on June 10^th at 6:30 PM at Indigo Village or visit our website at: www.villagegateacademy.com.

Parents, don't overbook your family this Summer!

2010-06-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

It's easy to overbook your family during the Summer months. Camps and family vacations are a good thing and at the same time it's important to balance these activities out with free time. Here are some suggestions on creating a balanced summer with your family.

Open up your Calendar
Print out your calendar and show it to your kids. Start filling in the dates and activities that you already have planned and look for ways to balance out the scheduled activities with free time. Free time can be as simple as going to the beach or local park. Whatever you do, make sure your kids have to time to develop self- direction and self-motivation on how they would like to spend their free time versus someone organizing it for them or telling them what to do.

Develop a Family Vacation with Guidelines
Before you head off for your family adventure, find some general guidelines that will ensure your family will get the most out of the trip. Ask everyone, "What are some of the things you would like to see or do?" This will clarify what your plans will look like and everyone feels like they have will have some success. Don't forget to include down time and create a plan that works for everyone.

Take time for yourself
Planning is great and in the end, you don't want to get overwhelmed. Model for your kids that self-care is important and take some time out for yourself. A walk around the neighborhood, a hike or even a bath (by yourself).